Sunday, August 21, 2011

I guess I learned something.

One of my brothers is visiting with his wife. He is a handful on a good day. His idea of fun is pushing peoples buttons to get a reaction. Usually I ignore him and that bothers him because he wants a reaction. He usually gets his wife screaming at him with his antics. So, the house is loud and there is a lot of confusion at times. This has stressed my mother out.

All of which means I play tour guide and baby sitter at times. The baby sitter comment is meant more jokingly than seriously. I have had a lot of fun showing them around and spending time with them. Mom has had a few ... hmmm ... incidents where she has lashed out, at me, because she is stressed. She can't understand how I can put up with everything and not get stressed out.

I guess it was living and working in Korea that did it for me. I won't say I learned patience because I am not a patient person. When it comes to his wife, she is deaf and due to idiots for parents she was treated as if she was mentally disabled for a good portion of her childhood. I have no problem talking with her because I am used to dealing with people whose English ability could range from non-existent to native. You just have to pay extra attention in order to understand her. You also have to watch the level of your language and the speed at which you talk. Nothing that I haven't done for the last 10 years in Korea.

Working in Korea and dealing with bullshit also helped. I got used to dealing with confusion, last minute "surprises", and a lack of punctuality. Add to that the stupidity I would encounter pretty much daily. All of which helps me deal with the visit. For me the visit isn't that stressful. It is no different than daily life was in Korea.


  1. Since my mom's accident, my family has all pitched in to help, and we've all taken on duties formerly taken care of by mom. My sister's are fairly good at taking charge and making sure that the attitude is positive and forward-looking. This is something that mom was never very good at it, and there were some dark times during the recovery period.
    I've been less successful at being positive during this time, but a lot of my experience in Korea has given me the same kind of perspective and patience that you talk about.
    Hell, just dealing with the idiots on the road over there teaches you patience. If you don't take your time and make sure, you're dead.

  2. Well said. This time some of the siblings are entertaining my brother and his wife. Usually that was left to me if I was home, or my mom. Which puts too much stress on her and with her heart problems she doesn't need it. I let the sibs have it a bit this spring and now they are helping out.