How stupid do you think I am?

One of my sisters, lets call her DB, has been on my shit list for a while. Actually, she isn't on that list or any other. I just don't bother with her. Don't usually think about her.

Our Mother had major surgery a couple of years ago. She was in the hospital about 5 days then home to recover. It was about a month and a half before this sister came to visit her. A week before Christmas. To get and drop off presents. In the years since then I can count the number of times she has visited Mom on ONE hand. Visited, not actually done anything for.

Why, you might ask? She has excuses. Too busy week days. Too busy weekends. The week days, fine, she babysits a load of kids. But she does manage to take a week off several times a year to go shopping in the states. Just has no time to visit her Mother.

A few days ago I got a Facebook message from her. She told me that she had messaged Mom. She had to have her dog put down. It had been suffering from a disease for years and had developed kidney/liver problems as well. For that she got my condolences. Then she went on to say that NOW that she doesn't have to stay home with the dog all the time she will be able to visit Mom.

Wow. She blamed her absence in Mom's life on the dog. Claiming she couldn't leave the dog alone. I don't know how fucking stupid she thinks I am but I do know that she would go to the US shopping several times a year. Usually for a week. She Facebooks about it every time she goes.

But she couldn't leave the dog alone for a few hours to visit her Mother. She only lives about a 15-20 minute drive away. US, no problem for a week. Mom for an hour or so, too hard. Fuck me.

The DB stands for Douchebag.

I guess I learned something.

One of my brothers is visiting with his wife. He is a handful on a good day. His idea of fun is pushing peoples buttons to get a reaction. Usually I ignore him and that bothers him because he wants a reaction. He usually gets his wife screaming at him with his antics. So, the house is loud and there is a lot of confusion at times. This has stressed my mother out.

All of which means I play tour guide and baby sitter at times. The baby sitter comment is meant more jokingly than seriously. I have had a lot of fun showing them around and spending time with them. Mom has had a few ... hmmm ... incidents where she has lashed out, at me, because she is stressed. She can't understand how I can put up with everything and not get stressed out.

I guess it was living and working in Korea that did it for me. I won't say I learned patience because I am not a patient person. When it comes to his wife, she is deaf and due to idiots for parents she was treated as if she was mentally disabled for a good portion of her childhood. I have no problem talking with her because I am used to dealing with people whose English ability could range from non-existent to native. You just have to pay extra attention in order to understand her. You also have to watch the level of your language and the speed at which you talk. Nothing that I haven't done for the last 10 years in Korea.

Working in Korea and dealing with bullshit also helped. I got used to dealing with confusion, last minute "surprises", and a lack of punctuality. Add to that the stupidity I would encounter pretty much daily. All of which helps me deal with the visit. For me the visit isn't that stressful. It is no different than daily life was in Korea.

Family BS

While I missed my Family while I lived in South Korea I didn't miss some of the bull shit that comes along with every family.

My mother isn't fragile but she isn't in perfect health. She has a heart problem that she is on medication for. Add to that the fact she is a worrier.

Then you have her sister, my Aunt. I love my Aunt but she is too much like her mother. That means she is a nosy, gossipy, bitch. She is never happier than when she is meddling in peoples lives and causing trouble carrying tales.

My Uncle was coming to visit and bringing my cousin. (My cousin is special needs.) Prior to the visit there is a spate of phone calls from ... my Aunt. She would prattle on and on to mom about my Uncle. My Cousin. And shit loads of stuff that just isn't anyone's business but my Uncle.

My Uncle never lets you know when he is leaving. He lives 3 provinces away, about a 18 hour drive. Usually he will drive straight through only stopping for fuel and food. Sometimes he will sleep in his car. Since he has his son with him he might get a hotel room. So we knew roughly when he was coming and were ready.

Of course, my aunt, being her usual self, had to call my mother one evening, when she knows we are eating dinner. That is her favourite time to call. she had to let mom know that my Uncle left that morning and would be there the next day. Now she wasn't calling for him. He never asked her to. She just took it upon herself to do it. Probably because it gave her another chance to gossip and slag my Uncle and the other relatives there.

Oh, I don't talk to my Aunt on the phone other than to say hello. I have no time for her bull shit. I tend to tell her off when she starts it, no one else seems to do it, so she would rather get my mom who will listen and say nothing.

The next day arrives. No Uncle. Mom is starting to worry. That evening no uncle. The Aunt has called a couple of times and has started doom and gloom scenarios. So mom is really worrying and not resting.

Next morning no Uncle. Mom hasn't slept because she is worrying too much. She has visions of a car accident thanks to my bitch of an aunt. I end up taking my mom to the RCMP to see if his name has turned up in an accident report. There isn't much they could do since me had no plate number or make of car. His name didn't show but that didn't make her feel much better.

That night he showed up. He hadn't come straight to see us. Instead he took a side trip to PEI. My Aunt knew he was doing that but never mentioned it for some reason. It made it easier for her to cause problems that way. Instead of just minding her fucking business she got my mother all wound up.

There has been a bit of that shit going on, not just with my aunt, since I got home. A few family members have been told. A few more are working their way to it.

It kind of kills the joy of being around family again.