Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What the ... humbug?!?!?

I find it hard to give a shit about Christmas this year. I just can't bring myself to care beyond making sure I got something nice for Mom.

Right now I have a lot of anger inside me and it doesn't seem to be going away. The way my siblings have acted (the ones who live here or could be here) since Mom's operation leaves me pissed off to no end. Even though she is getting better, today she was told she can go back to water fit and drive plus she no longer needs physio, for the most part they weren't there for her.

I just can't seem to let go of the anger yet. I don't know if I want to let it go.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

I'm exhausted.

I have received a few inquires about how I am, where I am, am I still blogging. While I am not ready to go into a lengthy diatribe on life right now I will say this.

Mentally, physically, emotionally I find myself exhausted right now. A month ago my mother had knee replacement surgery for her left knee. The siblings who could help care for her are pretty much useless. One has helped a bit. Another who lives about 15 minutes away by car has visited Mom once since her surgery. Another who could be here isn't. Everything pretty much falls on me.

The exception is one of my Sister-in-Laws. (My Brother works out of province.) She is a godsend. Between her and I we made sure someone was there, if even for a little while, morning, noon, and night while Mom was in hospital. She has also prepared and brought over 5-6 meals after Mom came home.

Stig visited for 5 days and it coincided with the day Mom came home. Having him here helped a lot. It gave me someone to talk with. Hang out with, even if it was mainly at home.

One of my Aunts came down the day of Mom's surgery and stayed all afternoon and most of the evening. That way someone would be there whenever Mom came around.

My siblings who could be helping ... meh. Not worth ranting about right now. It will just piss me off. Plus I don't really like airing family laundry in public.

My life right now consists of work. Come home walk the dog. Clean up for mom and/or run errands. Cook. Walk the dog. Sleep. Work. Etc.

My days off are spent, for the most part, running her to Doctors appointments, physio, and running errands. There was a bit of a set back last week that required 7.5 hours in the ER.

All of which means I am a bit too busy, and not really inclined, to blog. Once things settle down I am pretty sure I will be shooting my mouth off again.