Gord's Pork Pies Part 3

Wow. Talk about deluding yourself. Gord is NOT going with the April Fools defence. He is actually going to stick with the lie and continue feigning indignation when people call him on it.

He has no picture of him with the winning rim. Considering he goes no where without his cell phone and ipad that is strange. He is STILL telling different people he won it in different places. He is STILL telling people he upgraded it to the Corolla CE from the S. Which would actually be a down grade.

He IS claiming to have papers about his car in his locker. But he doesn't claim they prove he won it. He does like to dissemble.

He no longer reminds me of my brother Herman. He reminds me of my ex-fiance. She was pretty much a pathological liar. Why? The drama. She ALWAYS had something bad happening, whether real or made up. That way people would rally around her and tell her how good a person she was. Or defend her.

That pretty much seems to be what Gord is doing now. Those that care enough (or are bored enough) to call him on the lies get his indignation. He complains about it to others sometimes getting lip service, sometimes getting compassion, sometimes getting told to stop the lies. It is all about the attention and it doesn't matter if it is good or bad.

Shit Morons Say ... in dispatch.

I asked my boss if I could leave early today. We call that putting in for an EO, Early Out. He told me sure and then called our dispatcher to make sure it was on the schedule. Chuck was in dispatch.

Manager "You see where there is an EO? by Flint's name on the schedule at 2 and 2:30?"

Chuck "Yes."

Manager "Remove the ? from 2."

Chuck "What about 2:30?"

I had to bite my tongue not to start laughing. It would have been loud enough to hear over the phone. My manager just replied "Ummm. Yes." and hung up. We both started laughing.

Moe was in the hallway, poked his head in and said "What is so funny?"

We told him. He shook his head and said "What did he think? You would leave at 2 and come back at 2:30 to work a half hour?!?!?"

Damn!

Gord's Pork Pies Part 2

Saturday, Gord tells me he has something to show me when my shift is over. After his behaviour the previous Sunday I wasn't sure what to expect. A video I would find stupid? Ninja Biker Porn? No clue. He shows me a car in the parking lot and says "I won it from Roll Up The Rim!"

For those who don't know, every year Tim Horton's has the Roll Up The Rim to Win contest. The main prize being a car. This year there were several Toyota Corollas to go around.

Part of me winced knowing how Gord lies. Part of me said ignore the wincing and congratulate him. Part of me said does it really matter? So, I congratulated him on his good luck.

He went into great detail about how he found out he won it. A drive outside the city in his old car with his mother. They stopped at a Tim Horton's by the airport. Voila he won. They gave him a something to take to the Toyota dealer in town and get one. He traded his old car in to upgrade it to a Corolla CE.

He told a lot of people at work that he won it. A lot of people at work told him he was full of shit. Which is why he was in full indignant mode Sunday.

Because I had congratulated him I was one of the good guys. He waxed on about how could people think he lied about it. Yadda yadda yadda. (Because you had lied to them all in the past maybe?) Not really caring one way or the other I just said "What does it matter what they think or say if it is true?" And I left it at that not really wanting to get involved.

Why didn't I want to get involved? Because I was pretty sure that if I looked into it even a little it would all turn out to be a lie. And I really didn't care. It didn't hurt anyone and if it was a lie he was just fooling himself.

Today, Monday, his lie (yes, surprise surprise he was lying) started to unravel. He told me he won it in a small town called Enfield. He told one of my managers Truro. He told someone else Halifax. He told someone else Moncton. You get the idea right?

He was back in indignant mode. "What, do I have to show them the rim to make them believe me?" (Well, yeah. That would actually do it. Or even a picture of him with the winning rim. Getting whatever they gave him to get the car. Getting the car. Anything like that.)

I said "Well, they will find out when it is announced you won by Tim Horton's." He had an answer for that. He said he wouldn't let them release his name. Long story short he had lots of "reasons" why he couldn't prove it. BUT he DID have the car.

At this point he had hurt his case so much that he made it impossible to even ignore the fact he was lying. I figured I could prove he was lying in three easy steps.

On the way home I stopped by Tim Horton's for a coffee. I asked them about the person in Enfield who won a car last week. They said no one there won. What Halifax? Nope. Strike one.

After supper I went on the  computer and logged on to Tim Horton's website. They show a list of ALL winners of ALL prizes up to date. Surely if he won it last week and kept him name out of it there would be a "winner" from Enfield, or Halifax, of Truro, or Moncton? Yet there is NO winner from any of those areas. EVERY winner shown has their name and where listed on a map showing the area they won it in. Strike two.

Then I went to Toyota's website. According to Tim Horton's website the model people won was the Corolla S. Gord said he upgraded it to a CE. Unfortunately, for Gord, the CE is the BASIC model. The S is 2 levels up and about $4000 more expensive. So, he traded in his old car and downgraded? Strike three.

I expect a fourth strike when he is back at work Thursday. Odds are he will try to claim he was just prepping an april Fool's joke.

I can't even get angry with Gord for lying like this. It was so pathetically done that it makes me sad for him. It is just ... well ... pathetic.

Gord's Pork Pies Part 1

One of the guys at work, let's call him Gord, tells lies. A lot. Usually harmless or inconsequential. He reminds me of my brother Herman in a lot of ways.

Herman is older than me and likes to tell pork pies. He makes up some of the strangest lies at times. For reasons known only to him. Usually harmless ones. They both have a crude sense of humour, but my brother is a lot cruder.

A week and a half ago Gord told me something that I filed under BS. He said that a news report showed them (no idea who they are) finding the wing of an Air France jet in what is supposed to be the wreckage of the Malaysian Air jet.

Yeah, right. Nice try. No idea why.

Jump ahead a week. I am at work feeling like shit. Sinus and throat infection. Fighting through it and thankful I am off the next 3 days. I am not at work 10 minutes when Gord walks up and starts prattling on and irritating me.

First he started going on about how cough drops are addictive. Why that topic? I had just popped one for my sore throat. I shook my head and said "Really? No. They aren't"

He retorted with a "Yes they are."

"No Gord. They are no physically addictive."

"Well mentally."

"Yeah. No."

Then he struck a new tangent. "Studies show that the decongestant in cough drops affects your brain chemistry."

I sighed and relied "Gord, there is no decongestant in cough drops unless you get the ones with cough syrup in them. The ingredient that provides sinus relief is menthol."

He didn't like that and snarled. "Chocolate is addictive!"

"Jesus Gord, did you get all this info from the same place you heard about the Air France wing?" I laughed back.

He lost it. "You fucking asshole. You can go fuck yourself. I am fucking tired of people contradicting me and trying to make me look like a fucking liar. I am not a liar! I am going to find the article about the Air France wing so I can ram it down your fucking throat!"

What do you say to insanity like that? I leaned forward and in a soft voice said "And you have a nice day. Bye bye."

Then I walked over to the front entrance turning my back on him. You could hear him a couple of minutes later still slamming stuff around.

He avoided me for most of the day. Later he came up to me when I was in the office and in his mind I am sure he thinks he apologized.

He said. "I was wrong about the Air France wing. I went online and watched the news story again. They were talking about the Malaysian Air crash and the started showing stuff from other crashes. I put my head phones on just before they did that to tone out Marilyn. (Most people want to block her out because she is another head case who never shuts up.) She has been telling people for the last 3 weeks that all I do is lie. She is trying to get me fired."

So, it wasn't his fault he made an ass out of himself it is Marilyn's fault. I just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat." Which he took as "all is forgiven".

I could have called my boss over and got him in a lot of shit. I could have went to HR the next day I was in when they were and got him in a lot of shit. He may even have lost his job. But, he didn't do it in front of customers and I felt sorry for him. He doesn't have many (any?) friends at home or work. What he said didn't really matter to me, so I let it slide.

Which just led to more lying insanity this past weekend.

Shit Morons Say ... about diabetes.

"I am (insert verb here)  with diabetes!"

There is a blood reader called Contour Next by Bayers. This commercial makes me see red. It starts off by showing people making statements about living with diabetes.

"I am working with diabetes." says a man at a work site.

"I am travelling with diabetes." says a woman in a lounge chair by a pool.

"I am creating with diabetes." says a woman at a draft table.

No shit Sherlock. having diabetes doesn't mean you can't do anything as long as you keep things under control. Yes, ANY blood reader, like the contour, will help you. Your meds will help you even more. However, this commercial makes it seem like diabetes makes you unable to do anything UNLESS you use the contour.

One of the reasons why a LOT of people don't mention they have diabetes is because of how people react. Oh, you have diabetes you shouldn't be doing this. As long as you keep your blood sugar level under control you can pretty much do anything you want.

Why does this commercial piss me off? I have diabetes. Shit like this makes the sheep, errr average person think someone with diabetes is severely limited in what they can do.

This commercial reminds me of an asshole I worked with at my current job for a short while. He tried to use diabetes to excuse the fact he is a lazy fucktard. He actually got a doctors note saying he needed more breaks than normal because of his condition. What would he do on these extra breaks? Scarf down teh kind of food that would make a diabetic have severe problems. (If anything the mook was hypo-glycemic and not diabetic but he got some fucktard of a doctor to sign off on him being diabetic.)

Up until then I told no one at work I was diabetic. Why? Because it didn't prevent me from doing my job. It has been under control for years. It is no ones business. He pissed me off so much I told my bosses, and a few others. And in case you didn't get it, he doesn't work there any more. He got caught in a few too many lies.

Bayer you are fucktards for putting out this commercial. The Contour Next makes it easier to monitor and track your blood sugar levels. THAT is what you should have focused on. Fucktards.

What the ... national news?!?!?

A "cautious" Calgary doctor also know as a daredevil that lived for adrenaline rushes died base jumping in Arizona. Why the fuck should I care? Why the fuck is it NATIONAL news?!?!?

Not to denigrate or diminish how his family and friends feel but why the hell would this be considered national news? CTV, CBC, The National Post, even METRO for the Halifax area is carrying this story.

To add to the inanity of the story you have this report:

‘‘A rescue helicopter … located Dave’s body and confirmed he had died from massive injuries resulting from impacting rocks at high speed. "

They REALLY had to elaborate on that? They needed confirmation that he died from massive injuries due to hitting rocks and a high speed? Were they thinking maybe his death resulted because of being hit by a car in mid air? Media fucktards.

Fun With Telemarketers 1

I had a call from 1-604-251-1333 a few minutes ago. The message that played said that they were calling about my credit card. Everything is ok with it BUT this is my second and final warning that they can help me with the interest rates. They won't be offering their help much longer.

It is interesting that every time these ass hats call it is always the second and final warning. :) They have called a couple of times in the past and we always hang up on them. Today, I was bored and decided to have some fun with them. :)

You are told to press 1 for an operator or 2 to be removed from their list. Pressing 2 never works of course. I pressed one and was almost immediately greeted by an East-Indian sounding gentleman.

He started off with a "Good day to you sir. I will be able to help you lower your interest rates." (It helps if you imagine Apu from the Simpsons as the voice of the caller.)

I replied "Good. What bank are you with?"

"Sir, I work for a company that can lower your credit card interest rates. Your current rate can be lowered by 10%."

I cut him off and said "You aren't with a bank? How do you know my interest rate?"

"My company can help you lower your rate."

"Wait a minute. The message that played said you KNEW my credit card information and that everything is ok with my card. If you don't work for my bank how can you know that?"

"Sir we help people lower ..."

I cut him off again "I asked how you know anything about my credit card. My next call may have to be to the police."

"Sir, if we can ..."

"I have a question for you."

"What is your question sir?"

"How many times a day do you get told to go fuck yourself?"

He hung up on me. :)

I actually find myself hoping another telemarketer or scammer calls.