Monday, March 31, 2014

Gord's Pork Pies Part 1

One of the guys at work, let's call him Gord, tells lies. A lot. Usually harmless or inconsequential. He reminds me of my brother Herman in a lot of ways.

Herman is older than me and likes to tell pork pies. He makes up some of the strangest lies at times. For reasons known only to him. Usually harmless ones. They both have a crude sense of humour, but my brother is a lot cruder.

A week and a half ago Gord told me something that I filed under BS. He said that a news report showed them (no idea who they are) finding the wing of an Air France jet in what is supposed to be the wreckage of the Malaysian Air jet.

Yeah, right. Nice try. No idea why.

Jump ahead a week. I am at work feeling like shit. Sinus and throat infection. Fighting through it and thankful I am off the next 3 days. I am not at work 10 minutes when Gord walks up and starts prattling on and irritating me.

First he started going on about how cough drops are addictive. Why that topic? I had just popped one for my sore throat. I shook my head and said "Really? No. They aren't"

He retorted with a "Yes they are."

"No Gord. They are no physically addictive."

"Well mentally."

"Yeah. No."

Then he struck a new tangent. "Studies show that the decongestant in cough drops affects your brain chemistry."

I sighed and relied "Gord, there is no decongestant in cough drops unless you get the ones with cough syrup in them. The ingredient that provides sinus relief is menthol."

He didn't like that and snarled. "Chocolate is addictive!"

"Jesus Gord, did you get all this info from the same place you heard about the Air France wing?" I laughed back.

He lost it. "You fucking asshole. You can go fuck yourself. I am fucking tired of people contradicting me and trying to make me look like a fucking liar. I am not a liar! I am going to find the article about the Air France wing so I can ram it down your fucking throat!"

What do you say to insanity like that? I leaned forward and in a soft voice said "And you have a nice day. Bye bye."

Then I walked over to the front entrance turning my back on him. You could hear him a couple of minutes later still slamming stuff around.

He avoided me for most of the day. Later he came up to me when I was in the office and in his mind I am sure he thinks he apologized.

He said. "I was wrong about the Air France wing. I went online and watched the news story again. They were talking about the Malaysian Air crash and the started showing stuff from other crashes. I put my head phones on just before they did that to tone out Marilyn. (Most people want to block her out because she is another head case who never shuts up.) She has been telling people for the last 3 weeks that all I do is lie. She is trying to get me fired."

So, it wasn't his fault he made an ass out of himself it is Marilyn's fault. I just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat." Which he took as "all is forgiven".

I could have called my boss over and got him in a lot of shit. I could have went to HR the next day I was in when they were and got him in a lot of shit. He may even have lost his job. But, he didn't do it in front of customers and I felt sorry for him. He doesn't have many (any?) friends at home or work. What he said didn't really matter to me, so I let it slide.

Which just led to more lying insanity this past weekend.

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