Tuesday, May 1, 2012


When I was at my heaviest I never saw myself that way. It isn't that I saw myself as being thin or even normal sized. I just never saw myself as being morbidly obese. Instead, I just saw myself as fat. Even when the evidence otherwise was looking at me in the mirror. It is funny how you can find reasons to deceive yourself. I could still touch my toes and tie my shoes. Ergo, there was no severe weight problem.

Now that I have dumped a LOT of weight it is the opposite. Ok, dumped diminishes what I have done. I did the work to shed it. Now I still see myself as extremely morbidly obese. I am not. Mind you I still have a ways to go. But when I think of myself I see me as morbidly obese.

It is strange how we deceive ourselves. When I should have seen the worst I didn't. When I should see the work I have done I don't.


  1. I know what you mean. Sometimes I don't think of myself as fat, even when I read or hear about people with similar situatuions being described as really, really fat. I think, " Yeah, but that's not me."
    And then other times, I think the opposite.
    I went to Weight Watchers a long time ago, and I did get down to my goal weight, but I still thought of myself as fat. After I'd gained a lot of weight again, my mom showed a picture of my thin self. Maybe if I'd seen it tbefore I would have worked harder to keep it off.
    Oh well.

  2. Big respect to you for acknowledging shit and dealing with it. I really respect that. Unfortunately I don't respect it about myself because I'm not there yet. Yeah...I know that I'm fat and stuff...but how fat am I? Definitely fatter than I want to be...but not fat enough to do anything about it. I'm getting there though...both mentally and physically.

    Thanks for putting this up mate...it's nice to know that a bloke that I know (in an internet kinda way) has been able to work through some shit that I find difficult to acknowledge. Yeah...there's plenty of shit out and about...but hearing that someone who I think of as sane and normal being able to lose weight (back in the west no less!!!)...makes me ponder my own ability to get something done.


  3. Thanks for the replies guys.

    It wasn't easy BD. I had to stop making excuses not to do it. Korea, because of the way Koreans tend to be, made it for me easy to come up with excuses.

    I still can't put a finger on exactly what made me change my lifestyle. There just doesn't seem to be one specific thing that gave me an epiphany.