I don't speak idiot.

I went to Sobeys this morning. I knew they would be open even though it was a holiday and took a chance it would be 10. (Yeah I could have looked it up on the internet but sometimes you just have to live dangerously. ;) ) As I was getting ready to turn right into their parking lot a dumbass decided to make an illegal left turn into the parking lot cutting in front of me. If I had been going the speed limit and not slowing to turn I would have t-boned the moron.

She then drove up and parked in the fire lane, in front of the crosswalk, by the main doors. Then she hopped out and ran up to the door.

I parked the car and tried to hold my snark in. Ok, tried to hold my anger in. I walk up and see the door is locked. Moron is still standing there. I whip out the phone and look up the holiday hours. Lo and behold they open noon to 6. It was 10:00 AM.

The dumbass says: "Excuse me do you know what time it is."

I reply: "Sorry I don't speak Idiot."

I wish I had the phone camera on and took a pic of her face. The look was priceless as she tried to process what I said.

She snarled: "Why would you talk to me like that?"

"Because you are moron. You made an illegal left hand turn and almost cut me off. You then parked your fucking car right there, in the fire lane, in front of the fucking crosswalk. Any other questions?"

She stammered a bit and couldn't seem to make a reply.

"Oh. It is 10 AM and they don't open until noon."

I walked away while she stewed. As I got in the car and buckled up I saw her get a shopping cart and stand by the door. The fucking place doesn't open for 2 hours and this loopy cunt is lining up. While her shitmobile is stll parked illegaly.

Fucking mooks.

Fucking mooks!!!!!

I am so fucking angry right now. I had to hug my dog and stop crying I am so angry. And I couldn't stop crying.

Some pieces of shit in Ireland couldn't get a pound to take their dog so they shot him in the face, blinding him, to get rid of him. Jesus H fucking Christ. Let him loose to run wild like the assholes I knew in Cape Breton. Blinding him? Fuck.

I would take him in NOW if I could.

I would fucking castrate the assholes with a spoon if I could.

But I can't stop crying.

Fuck.

And they wonder why I don't like people.

People are fucking mooks in the truest sense of the word.

I have to stop typing and hug my dog again.

Fucking mooks.

Shit Morons Say ... when mistaken.

"Isn't this where I get my tires changed?"

I was waiting to get my hair cut yesterday when a woman carrying a kid walked into the barber shop. she looked around and said "Isn't this where I get my tires changed?"

The barber never missed a beat. He shook his head and said "No. They are around the other side of the building. This is a barber shop."

"Oh. I guess I should go." was her reply.

The barber chuckled and said "If you need a haircut you can stay."

She left. We started laughing.

Another customer who was waiting said "That happen a lot?"

The barber said "A few times a week. You would never know there is a sign over the entrance saying this is a barber shop. Plus one on the door. Plus the sign for the tire shop telling you where it's entrance is."

The guy in the chair said "Ever mess with their heads?"

The barber said "I don't really have to. Hell, once a guy came in, saw me cutting hair and said 'Here are my  keys.' as if I was standing behind  desk and not cutting hair."

Damn. People can be stupid.

Gord's Pork Pies Part 3

Wow. Talk about deluding yourself. Gord is NOT going with the April Fools defence. He is actually going to stick with the lie and continue feigning indignation when people call him on it.

He has no picture of him with the winning rim. Considering he goes no where without his cell phone and ipad that is strange. He is STILL telling different people he won it in different places. He is STILL telling people he upgraded it to the Corolla CE from the S. Which would actually be a down grade.

He IS claiming to have papers about his car in his locker. But he doesn't claim they prove he won it. He does like to dissemble.

He no longer reminds me of my brother Herman. He reminds me of my ex-fiance. She was pretty much a pathological liar. Why? The drama. She ALWAYS had something bad happening, whether real or made up. That way people would rally around her and tell her how good a person she was. Or defend her.

That pretty much seems to be what Gord is doing now. Those that care enough (or are bored enough) to call him on the lies get his indignation. He complains about it to others sometimes getting lip service, sometimes getting compassion, sometimes getting told to stop the lies. It is all about the attention and it doesn't matter if it is good or bad.

Gord's Pork Pies Part 2

Saturday, Gord tells me he has something to show me when my shift is over. After his behaviour the previous Sunday I wasn't sure what to expect. A video I would find stupid? Ninja Biker Porn? No clue. He shows me a car in the parking lot and says "I won it from Roll Up The Rim!"

For those who don't know, every year Tim Horton's has the Roll Up The Rim to Win contest. The main prize being a car. This year there were several Toyota Corollas to go around.

Part of me winced knowing how Gord lies. Part of me said ignore the wincing and congratulate him. Part of me said does it really matter? So, I congratulated him on his good luck.

He went into great detail about how he found out he won it. A drive outside the city in his old car with his mother. They stopped at a Tim Horton's by the airport. Voila he won. They gave him a something to take to the Toyota dealer in town and get one. He traded his old car in to upgrade it to a Corolla CE.

He told a lot of people at work that he won it. A lot of people at work told him he was full of shit. Which is why he was in full indignant mode Sunday.

Because I had congratulated him I was one of the good guys. He waxed on about how could people think he lied about it. Yadda yadda yadda. (Because you had lied to them all in the past maybe?) Not really caring one way or the other I just said "What does it matter what they think or say if it is true?" And I left it at that not really wanting to get involved.

Why didn't I want to get involved? Because I was pretty sure that if I looked into it even a little it would all turn out to be a lie. And I really didn't care. It didn't hurt anyone and if it was a lie he was just fooling himself.

Today, Monday, his lie (yes, surprise surprise he was lying) started to unravel. He told me he won it in a small town called Enfield. He told one of my managers Truro. He told someone else Halifax. He told someone else Moncton. You get the idea right?

He was back in indignant mode. "What, do I have to show them the rim to make them believe me?" (Well, yeah. That would actually do it. Or even a picture of him with the winning rim. Getting whatever they gave him to get the car. Getting the car. Anything like that.)

I said "Well, they will find out when it is announced you won by Tim Horton's." He had an answer for that. He said he wouldn't let them release his name. Long story short he had lots of "reasons" why he couldn't prove it. BUT he DID have the car.

At this point he had hurt his case so much that he made it impossible to even ignore the fact he was lying. I figured I could prove he was lying in three easy steps.

On the way home I stopped by Tim Horton's for a coffee. I asked them about the person in Enfield who won a car last week. They said no one there won. What Halifax? Nope. Strike one.

After supper I went on the  computer and logged on to Tim Horton's website. They show a list of ALL winners of ALL prizes up to date. Surely if he won it last week and kept him name out of it there would be a "winner" from Enfield, or Halifax, of Truro, or Moncton? Yet there is NO winner from any of those areas. EVERY winner shown has their name and where listed on a map showing the area they won it in. Strike two.

Then I went to Toyota's website. According to Tim Horton's website the model people won was the Corolla S. Gord said he upgraded it to a CE. Unfortunately, for Gord, the CE is the BASIC model. The S is 2 levels up and about $4000 more expensive. So, he traded in his old car and downgraded? Strike three.

I expect a fourth strike when he is back at work Thursday. Odds are he will try to claim he was just prepping an april Fool's joke.

I can't even get angry with Gord for lying like this. It was so pathetically done that it makes me sad for him. It is just ... well ... pathetic.

Gord's Pork Pies Part 1

One of the guys at work, let's call him Gord, tells lies. A lot. Usually harmless or inconsequential. He reminds me of my brother Herman in a lot of ways.

Herman is older than me and likes to tell pork pies. He makes up some of the strangest lies at times. For reasons known only to him. Usually harmless ones. They both have a crude sense of humour, but my brother is a lot cruder.

A week and a half ago Gord told me something that I filed under BS. He said that a news report showed them (no idea who they are) finding the wing of an Air France jet in what is supposed to be the wreckage of the Malaysian Air jet.

Yeah, right. Nice try. No idea why.

Jump ahead a week. I am at work feeling like shit. Sinus and throat infection. Fighting through it and thankful I am off the next 3 days. I am not at work 10 minutes when Gord walks up and starts prattling on and irritating me.

First he started going on about how cough drops are addictive. Why that topic? I had just popped one for my sore throat. I shook my head and said "Really? No. They aren't"

He retorted with a "Yes they are."

"No Gord. They are no physically addictive."

"Well mentally."

"Yeah. No."

Then he struck a new tangent. "Studies show that the decongestant in cough drops affects your brain chemistry."

I sighed and relied "Gord, there is no decongestant in cough drops unless you get the ones with cough syrup in them. The ingredient that provides sinus relief is menthol."

He didn't like that and snarled. "Chocolate is addictive!"

"Jesus Gord, did you get all this info from the same place you heard about the Air France wing?" I laughed back.

He lost it. "You fucking asshole. You can go fuck yourself. I am fucking tired of people contradicting me and trying to make me look like a fucking liar. I am not a liar! I am going to find the article about the Air France wing so I can ram it down your fucking throat!"

What do you say to insanity like that? I leaned forward and in a soft voice said "And you have a nice day. Bye bye."

Then I walked over to the front entrance turning my back on him. You could hear him a couple of minutes later still slamming stuff around.

He avoided me for most of the day. Later he came up to me when I was in the office and in his mind I am sure he thinks he apologized.

He said. "I was wrong about the Air France wing. I went online and watched the news story again. They were talking about the Malaysian Air crash and the started showing stuff from other crashes. I put my head phones on just before they did that to tone out Marilyn. (Most people want to block her out because she is another head case who never shuts up.) She has been telling people for the last 3 weeks that all I do is lie. She is trying to get me fired."

So, it wasn't his fault he made an ass out of himself it is Marilyn's fault. I just shrugged and said "Whatever floats your boat." Which he took as "all is forgiven".

I could have called my boss over and got him in a lot of shit. I could have went to HR the next day I was in when they were and got him in a lot of shit. He may even have lost his job. But, he didn't do it in front of customers and I felt sorry for him. He doesn't have many (any?) friends at home or work. What he said didn't really matter to me, so I let it slide.

Which just led to more lying insanity this past weekend.

What the ... inability?!?!?

What is it with the inability of a lot of people to simply admit when they made a mistake and apologize? Do they think it is a sign of weakness? A sign of failure? I see this inability as a sign of immaturity and sometimes stupidity.

Hilda always comes to mind when this topic comes up. The ONLY times I can remember her apologizing is when it was an "I'm sorry for whatever I might have done." An apology made without knowing what she was apologizing for, if anything. As I have mentioned before, a type of apology she would NEVER accept from someone else. But she expects others to accept from her.

Once it comes down to her knowing what she has done wrong she never apologizes. Even if she agrees she did something wrong. She just can't bring herself to apologize. It has cost her a lot of friends over the years.

Then you have Jay. I have known Jay for 20+ years. He is the kind of person who will throw away a friendship for the smallest slight, whether real or perceived. He is also the kind of person that will never apologize even if he knows he was wrong. It has cost him a lot of friends over the years. Jay actually wears it like a badge of honour and bragged about being this way.

Now you have Mr. C, my co-worker who flipped out at me. I am not the first person at work he has spazzed out at for little to no reason. From what I know of him it is pretty safe to say it won't be the last time either. He is also the type that won't apologize. It doesn't matter that he knows he was wrong. He has told people he knows it. He won't apologize. He keeps losing friends.

It is kind of sad to think that people are that screwed up. They would rather lose friends than apologize when they were wrong.