Yes Minister - Open Government

Open Government:

Government is actually more open when it is less open. Open government is rather like the live theatre: the audience gets a performance. And it gives a response. But, like the theatre, in order to have something to show openly there must first be much hidden activity. And all sorts of things have to be cut or altered in rehearsals, and not shown to the public until you have them right.

Yes Minister - Code Language

Civil Service Code Language

1) "Something is not in the public interest." = It is in the public interest but it is not in the interest of the Civil Service.

2) "Public opinion is not yet ready for such a step." = Public opinion is ready but the Civil Service is not.

3) "This is an urgent problem and we therefore propose setting up a Royal COmmission." = This problem is a bloody nuisance, but we hope that by the time a Royal Commission reports, four years from now, everyone will have forgotten about it or we can find someone else to blame.

4) "I think we have to be very careful." = We are not going to do this.

5) "Have you thought through all the implications?" = You are not going to do this.

6) "It is a slightly puzzling decision." = Idiotic!

7) "Not entirely straightforward." = Criminal.

8) "With the greatest possible respect, minister." = Minister, that is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

Yes, Minister! Consideration.

What's the difference, to a Civi Servant, between "under consideration" and "under active consideration"?

"Under consideration" means they have lost the file. "Under active consideration" means they are trying to find it.

Yes, Minister! Inverse Relevance

The law of Inverse Relevance: the less you intend to do about something, the more you have to keep talking about it.

Yes, Minister! Kinds of Silence.

From Yes, Minister ...

The Three Varieties of Civil Service Silence

1) The silence when they do not want to tell you the facts: Discreet Silence.

2) The silence when they do not want to take any action: Stubborn Silence.

3) The silence when you catch them out and they haven't a leg to stand on. They imply that they could vindicate themselves completely if only they were free to tell all, but they are too honourable to do so: Courageous Silence.

Yes, Minister.

I used to watch the British comedy Yes, Minister which eventually became Yes, Prime Minister. It poked fun at the politicians as well as the civil service. (Having been involved in politics and worked in the civil service I found a lot of what was said to be spot on about the trouble with both.) Although it was about British politics some of what was said was universal. There are some great quotes from the show. Some of the applicable to life today. Here is a good one.

The facts of life according to the Civil Service.

1) Ministers come and Ministers go. The average Minister lasts eleven months in any Department.

2) It is our duty to assist the Minister to fight for the Department's money despite his own panic reactions.

3) However, the Minister must be allowed to panic. They need activity - it is their substitute for achievement.

4) The argument that we must do everything a Minister demands because he has been 'democratically chosen' does not stand up to close inspection. MP's are not chosen by 'the people' - they are chosen by their local constituency party, i.e. 35 men in grubby raincoats or 35 women in silly hats. The further 'selection' process is equally a nonsense: there are only 630 MPs and a party with just over 300 forms a government - and of tehse 300, 100 are too old and silly to be Ministers, and 100 are too young and too callow. Therefore there are about 100 MPs to fill 100 government posts. Effectively no choice at all.

5) It follows that as Ministers have had no proper selection or training, it is our patriotic duty to arrange for them to make the right decision as often as possible.