Mook of the Week

I played tour guide a lot while my Brother and his wife were visiting. Last Tuesday I took them to the waterfront in Halifax. We rode the ferry over and back.

My Sister-in-law was sitting chatting with my brother. He was standing in front of her. Both were out of the way and not blocking anything or bothering anyone. I was off near the rail looking out at the harbour.

All of a sudden I heard someone muttering "Fucking asshole. I should fuck you up." and some other unintelligible stuff. I looked back to see this lanky piece of shit mook in black with earbuds on staring at my brother and saying that stuff. He was moving away from my brother so I let it go and just kept an eye on him. He ended up with his back to me muttering to himself. That is the back of him in the picture below.

After a minute or so He moved his way towards the back of the boat. a minute later I could hear him again. He was walking to the front, staring at my brother muttering shit like "How the fuck would you like it if I threw you over the side. I should fucking throw you over. Fucking asshole."

10 years or so ago I would have been in his face. I have grown up a bit since then and instead of doing that, and potentially involving my brother, I kept an eye on the asshole and made sure that I was between him and my brother. I looked around to see if I could find a crew member but none were in sight and I didn't want to leave. Luckily, the mook ended up heading off to the lower level and I never saw him again.

My brother never noticed the guy. I felt a little bad after telling him because he was wondering how he offended the guy. As far as I know he didn't do anything. The guy was either a nut case on a day pass or an asshole looking for trouble. He didn't seem like special needs, I used to work with them. My money is on him just being an asshole.

What a fucking mook.

Social Networking and Personal Contact

I had an interesting conversation with a friend, S, today about Social Networking. We don't talk much, and not just because he doesn't use Facebook, he is horrible at returning calls. He feels that social networking is the worst thing to happen to personal communication. And he just might be right.

A lot of people seem to think that sending a message on Facebook or leaving a comment on something is the same as actually having a real conversation. I had one friend who was next to impossible to get on the phone. So you had to leave messages. He wouldn't call you back, instead he would send you a message on Facebook.

To me that is a "What the kimchi?!?!?!" moment. Yes, I use Facebook to stay in touch with friends and family and it is cheaper than a long distance phone call. But when you live in the same bloody city it seems kind of stupid not to just pick up a phone and call.

In some ways Hilda was right with her "rules" of communication. If you didn't return her call the ball was in your court and often she wouldn't call you again. Her "rules" were kind of extreme, and of course she never applied them to herself, but there was some truth to them. If you call and leave messages for someone and they never call you why bother anymore? If you call and leave messages and all they can do is send you a reply on Facebook (and you are in the same town) what does that say about the state of your friendship? Is it so hard now to just pick up a phone and return a call?

According to my friend S, yes. He curses social networking and feels it is destroying the ability of people to communicate. I don't feel as strongly about it as him, but there are areas we agree. People do still communicate via social networks but in different ways. Ways that to me seem more impersonal. I don't think that is a good thing.

I think back to my ex-friend Jimmy and YouTube. YouTube and "friends" Jimmy had never met became more important to him than "Real Life". Or as I like to call it reality. His life started revolving around YouTube and his virtual friends. It became his medium for communicating with people. While I do believe you can make friends online I it isn't the same as having friends where you live that you can talk to face to face. Considering the number or whack jobs on the net you can't always be sure you "friend" is who or what they say they are.

Then you have the people who seem to collect friends on Facebook. I had a LOT of friend when I played games like Mafia Wars. But they weren't really friends, now they call them "game friends". Even now, after stopping the games and dumping a lot of "game friends" I still have too many. Friends of friends who sent a friend request. Someone I met once or twice or who was a casual acquaintance who sent a friend request. And for some reason I approved the request. (Stupidity? Apathy) There are a small number of REAL friends and family I use Facebook to communicate with the rest are just ... filler. (Which now has me thinking it is time to do a purge again and get rid of the deadwood.)

Is social networking destroying communication? No, in some ways it is expanding it and making it easier. However, it is making it more impersonal. And that is a problem.

Life is busy

Lately life has been keeping me pretty busy. One of my brothers and his wife visited for a week. Tuesday I got hired for a new job and had to start training Wednesday. Today was spent doing the yard work that built up and trying to relax. All of which has not been making it easy for me to post anything.

I gotta say though it feels good to have a job. Especially one that seems interesting and has lots of room for advancement. The shifts may be sucky to start, 8PM to 4Am or something like that but such is life.

Tonight I am going to visit some friends and relax at a fire with rum and a cigar. Maybe a muse will inspire me to write a post. :)

I guess I learned something.

One of my brothers is visiting with his wife. He is a handful on a good day. His idea of fun is pushing peoples buttons to get a reaction. Usually I ignore him and that bothers him because he wants a reaction. He usually gets his wife screaming at him with his antics. So, the house is loud and there is a lot of confusion at times. This has stressed my mother out.

All of which means I play tour guide and baby sitter at times. The baby sitter comment is meant more jokingly than seriously. I have had a lot of fun showing them around and spending time with them. Mom has had a few ... hmmm ... incidents where she has lashed out, at me, because she is stressed. She can't understand how I can put up with everything and not get stressed out.

I guess it was living and working in Korea that did it for me. I won't say I learned patience because I am not a patient person. When it comes to his wife, she is deaf and due to idiots for parents she was treated as if she was mentally disabled for a good portion of her childhood. I have no problem talking with her because I am used to dealing with people whose English ability could range from non-existent to native. You just have to pay extra attention in order to understand her. You also have to watch the level of your language and the speed at which you talk. Nothing that I haven't done for the last 10 years in Korea.

Working in Korea and dealing with bullshit also helped. I got used to dealing with confusion, last minute "surprises", and a lack of punctuality. Add to that the stupidity I would encounter pretty much daily. All of which helps me deal with the visit. For me the visit isn't that stressful. It is no different than daily life was in Korea.

Passport Renewal Rule Change

Damn ... they changed the rules. I don't need my birth certificate to renew my passport now. My brother did when he renewed his last fall. The last time I checked the website it said I needed it. That was probably last November or December. I should have checked again since it has been a while.

The other day a friend was talking about renewing her passport a couple of months ago. She didn't need her birth certificate. Sure enough, I checked the web site and voila the rules did change.

Now that doesn't diminish the tardery I have gone through with L'etat Civil and getting my birth certificate. It does make things easier though. :)

Getting a new Birth Certificate Part Deux.

I won't recap the bureaucratic bull shit I have already gone through trying to get a copy of my birth certificate. But the saga does continue.

I got a phone call from L'etat Civil today saying that they need yet another piece of information. A piece of information they DIDN'T ask for on their website or in the forms they finally sent me a couple of weeks ago. Now they need a copy of a bill, tax statement, or my bank statement to show my address. Now, that was supposed to be one of the reasons why I sent these Bureautards a copy of my driver's license ... it has the address and is an official piece of ID.

Then, surprise surprise, I was told that I could FAX the documents to them. What the kimchi?!?!?! One reason the process has taken so long until now is that I was told I could NOT fax the forms in and I am not eligible for using their online forms. That is why I mailed it in ... and why the postal strike delayed sending it in to them. NOW some btard says I could have faxed it in! And they wonder why people hate bureaucrats and dealing with the government.

So, I went to the bank to get a copy of my latest statement to fax. It doesn't look like a bank statement you get in the mail. It looks like something anyone could have whipped up on their computer. The clerk also gave me a cancelled cheque for my savings account. It has all the info needed as well. (My account is now set up so I can just get my e-statement and print it off. When it was set up 12 or so years ago there were no e-statements.)

The information is all faxed off to L'etat Civil and I have to wait again. Will I actually get my birth certificate? Will it come in a week? A month? Or will I get a call form them tomorrow asking for new information? Or a letter in a few weeks saying they need yet something else.

I actually find myself missing Korean Immigration or the Korean Pension people. They could teach our Bureautards how to run an office. Never thought I would ever say that.

Once I actually get the certificate I then get to deal with the Passport people. I am not looking forward to that because I just expect more bureaucratic bull shit.

Beginnings

When I first got home from Korea I had trouble just walking around the block. Hell, I would sweat while sitting down. My time in Korea, and my own stupidity, had taken a toll on my physical health. It would be nice to blame it all on someone else, and that does seem to be the Western way, but I refuse to lie to myself. Most of the blame was on me with the next largest portion going to environmental factors.

I had to start building my health back slowly. So, I started walking around the block and as that became more doable I would extend the length of my walk. Then the number of times a day I walked. Until I was walking 3-4 times a day at least 1-2km a walk. Sometimes more. Sometimes less, but rarely. Over time the walks became part of my daily routine and if I missed one my day didn't feel right.

It wasn't just the walking that helped, I also changed my eating habits. I started that change while in Korea and worked on it harder when I got home. At the time I would have said I made no changes until I got home. Looking back I started making changes to my eating habits 6 months or more before coming home. Cutting back on my portion sizes. Making sure I ate a breakfast even if it was just toast so I would be too hungry later in the day and gorge. All in all I cut back what I eat by well over half, maybe even by 2/3.

Part of my eating problem was boredom. Over the years I equated boredom to being hungry. Often I would find myself eating without even realizing I had gotten something from the fridge. It was as if it was some automatic response to boredom. Or depression. It would lead to a vicious cycle that was hard to break. I would be bored and eat. Then that would make me feel depressed so I would eat.

There is a lot more to staying healthy, not just losing the weight, than exercise. It is a way of thinking and seeing life. People who nag or rag on overweight people are doing more damage than good. All it does is destroy their self-esteem and give them a reason to eat, depression. You can't force someone to want to be healthy. It has to be a conscious decision on their part. A lot of people, and I was one, will mouth the platitudes and seem to be trying but they are just going through the motions to shut up the naggers and haters. In the end they don't even help themselves. Sure there are some who will turn that negative attention around and use it as an impetus to get healthy. But they are the exception and not the norm.

Me, I just flat out didn't give a shit. Psycho babble aside, I didn't care and nothing anyone said would make me. It had to be a choice I made to change my life. Luckily, I came to that decision before it was too late. If I hadn't I would probably have died in the next few years.